Screw money.

Hello ~
I'm so exhausted now that i'm back from school and all.
Just had my very first kpop dance lesson and i must say, it was pretty awesome.
I might consider changing my mindset about it,
since i was skeptical about paying money to an instructor to teach me kpop.
But this instructor, I believe he's called Asham?
He's a pretty quirky teacher LOL and i enjoyed learning BTOB's Insane from him (;
Now before that, me, Teri, Vienna, Junior and Nikki were in 16 Track
(yes i made it to school hehes the aches weren't too bad)
recording our stuff for assignment (;
Nikki went off immediately after we finished recording without any goodbyes.
After that, we decided to slack and watch some Deekosh + Makcik vids.
I swear they're terribly comical you guys should check them out!


Moving on,
I came home feeling really tired and finding my dad really annoying
the moment i reached the doorstep of my home.
Honestly, i don't need my night to be pulled down just because of a few words.
But it got worse since my own mother thinks i keep going out to hang out with friends
and i tell her i have got no money.
If i could do that 7 times a week that would be nice,
but NO, i went to school goddamit.
I don't have money because i used my own money to pay for the kpop dance lessons
and the bike rental the day before!!!


I'm not a problematic child i assure you.
I don't self-mutilate, i don't do drugs, i don't smoke or drink,
well drink is another matter but that's only like twice a year behind their backs?
I know my limits.
This week, i'm only having 2 outings.
One with my class, and the other with my sec 4 class.
Then the next week, i'm just gonna stay cooped up at home tryna to finish my assignments.
Sometimes, i just wonder why money was created in the first place.
It's kinda the root of everyone's problems.
I can't even get a job because of my busy schedule.
And the messed up timetable that i have that causes me to have lessons in the afternoon till night -.-
I'm considering to take up a job at the SSC in my school maybe during sem break instead.
Sigh and since my mum doesn't know why i'm really broke,
and i swear i don't buy shit for myself.
i'm gonna just torture myself by starving myself of dinner from now on.
Just to save money for dance lessons, textbooks, transport fee [ -'- this ]
So if one day i collapse, then that wouldn't be my fault anymore. (;




"I've got this icebox where my heart used to be."


Not sure how long i can take before my barrier, my positivity, my confidence breaks down.
But when it breaks, it'll be too late for anyone to save me.