Sickity Sick.

The time has finally come.

Where I can just sit around and do nothing because I HAVE THE RIGHTS TO.

So I woke up being sick-er than before, although no fever (well damn) but still sick.

I remember back when I was directing, I was coughing all the way like *cough cough cough cough* 

And now that's happening so hey hey hey.

There's this thing about being sick that people tend to favour.

You can finally have an excuse to feel sorry for yourself as well as 'vy' for 

comfort by people like your family members.

In other words, pampered by them.

As well as help yourself out or let your inner self come out and play. 

In this case, the little girl wants to play.

So fuck anything right now because I need a break.

If anyone were to give me that 'You don't think so and so needs a break too?' 

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So I typed this 4 hours ago and fell asleep until now.

For some reason, I don't feel like I deserve the rest for the one fact that I still haven't completed a lot of assignments and they're all nagging at the back of my head right now.

Plus the fact that I've actually already slept a lot since last night and just now. 

Yet, I'm still blogging about it but ahhhhh conflicts conflicts.

Being real stubborn about taking meds just to get alright.

It's not that I don't want to get better, but just that I want to bask in this sick-at-the-moment-cozying-up-in-this-cold-weather feeling and it just tells me that it's time for me to rest.

Or at least says that, perhaps I deserve this break for myself.
That maybe, I can temporarily give a timeout on trying to care for people who don't seem to return that same affection.
Which isn't a you get what you paid for kinda thing?
Perhaps times are changing and people are changing. 
I mean it's hard, when you want to just stop caring and let the people you care about fuck themselves up and REST for godddd's sake it's tiring.
Kindness is free, and sometimes the option of taking away that kindness is tempting.
Just so tempting, to fucking spit right in others' faces what they spit back.
The backlash will be so great they'd get pissed, but it's a neverending cycle.
Should stop this before those anger issues start to rile up sigh.

Anyways if I could just give myself a short collapse and let the little girl play.

At the same time, I can't cuz there're mountains of shit to do and I'm not touching

on any of them.

I'm so frustrated sigh. 

So worried for Poly Horror, just so worried as well. 

Now that the echoes are gone in the hall,
it's time to begin Act II.

For memory sake: