No Answer.

I guess maybe I'm more appreciative of Monday being fun probably because something big happened,
that is big enough to bring back things I never really expected to return so soon.
Since it's rare for an event to overpower a depressing event y'know?

Having difficulty breathing return to your daily life isn't really a nice thing after finding out that
there's always more than what meets the eye in a situation.
It's like having your mind given a slap because you've been aware but ignorant of things.
Indeed, sometimes ignorance really is bliss.
Although now that I think about it, it must be some sort of stroke of twisted fate that
I, of all ignorant, oblivious/blind people would stumble upon a harsh fact.

Yeah, a twisted fate(tale).

This heavy breathing shit hasn't ceased ever since and it's quite a pain in the ass to be dealing with it.

I'm tired.

I still don't have the emotional capacity to be dealing with this but again, it feels like some inevitable fate that I meet a situation so similar to the previous (dealt but ended in tragedy) situations.
Different context, same emotions and feelings.
Same heavy feeling that I can never seem to shrug off.
Maybe my purpose in life is to help others wholeheartedly.
Which is very conflicting.

At times, I feel like 'up-ing' and going overseas to help the unfortunate children.
Kinda ironic since we have some in our country but the circumstances are much more dire in third world countries.
Then at times, I feel like I should be doing something else, like try to enter a place you wanna go that you're passionate about.

The thing I question is, what am I passionate about?

This whole holiday's been spent trying to figure out an answer to all of these unsolved mysteries, but it seems like one month is not enough to get a concrete answer to your purpose in life.

And so, I feel lost.

Hence, the lack of emotional capacity.
Also.
I think people should stop playing hide-and-seek with themselves, and others.
Because no one's going to find you when you're so half-assed about wanting to be found.
Or not wanting to be found because of your ego.