This is a totally random post.
the past, where we all faced a lot of endurance tests.
It's actually quite fascinating hearing about what goes on in the military
and the shit they face because even though you can't feel how much more they're facing,
you can still relate to what they're going through.
It reminds me of the secondary school days even though the shit they face in army
is x10 worse and well, literally you get shit.
But the mental torture cum training is really... the same.
I don't know when I realised this but I'm weak; so those days that really broke me down were left ingrained in me and I will never forget them.
Even though they were rare; maybe once or twice, but going to cca every week,
thinking, "God I hate this. I don't want Friday to come." or not looking forward to it,
it makes the whole experience a lot more irreplaceable.
Those were stark reminders that say, "You'll never face real, raw, coming-out-of-your-comfort-zone until you've done this." which I did, and I remember so clearly.
The times of breaking down or feeling like I just want to give up.
Their stories really reminded me and I could just remember some significant events.
Digressing but this is probably why I'm not totally hyped up for camps because the camps we went to weren't normal playtime camps or eat-sleep-play-parteh camps.
They were training camps lah fak.
Sleep on damned ponchos/groundsheets (basically sleeping on cold, hard concrete), eating maggi over some mesh tin and fire from solid fuel, doing PTs in the mud, doing PTs BEFORE eating when you're totally empty, height elements (boy oh boy), powder baths, etc.
Standing under the rain, wet and feeling soggy, trying to build a tent when no one's helping because they're don't know how to do it.
They're just sitting around with the ants while you're doing the work yourself when in actual fact you haven't even built up that type of tent before.
And you just stand there and breathe out heavily, under the rain.
Your socks feeling all muddy. You're tired. There's a trail of big red ants walking under you. People are just being useless; you don't know what to do;
You're far away from home and you can't exactly return.
Feeling that stretch out of your comfort zone,
and finally thinking to yourself, "I can't do this."
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