Toxicity.

It's amusing that immediately after coming out from work, I came across an interesting situation.

I was queueing up at Macs for a vanilla cone to soothe my really bad day and self when this student queueing up in front of me - probably about 14 or 15 years old, turned around and asked me pretty straightforwardly: "Can I borrow one dollar?"

Not sure if my face was either telling him I'm another student, 

or that I'm pretty friendly enough to ask money from.

Because I swear my face was already in this black, stiff state because I was upset. 

I guess it still looks expressionless as always. 

But then I tried to find a dollar but I couldn't really, so I gave him 80 cents. 

Changed my mind and gave him another 20 cents after that and used my 5 bucks to make the payment for the vanilla cone instead.

I don't think he seemed poor or anything after thinking about it for some time, 

but yknow seeing someone so young just outrightly ask for money, 

I just decided to get some fries for him. 

Then I pushed it to him later on cuz I didn't know how else to tell him. 

"You can have it. It's for you," that's what I said. 

I was thinking whether this was a play in kindness for some advertisement or something, and I even considered the fact that maybe he's just really hungry and haven't had lunch. 

So well, I guess I just did a reckless thing. 

But yknow, from that little thing I did, it kinda made me realise that 

I've been so focused on money to the point that my goals of not becoming swallowed up by that damn thing hasn't even been fulfilled yet.

I really shouldn't give so much fucks to money and try to live without that shit.

It's toxic.